Thursday, July 30, 2009

Stranded


Whilst at the recent family reunion, I applied one of the adaptive behaviors I developed growing up in a family of ten kids with one bathroom:
The early bird gets the shower.
I figure if I take my turn at 5:00 am, there won't be anyone pounding on the door--only a crazy person gets up that early on a summer morning.
I am the crazy person.
So the last morning I was there, I stepped out of the shower and realized I had forgotten to grab my towel off the clothesline. I was faced with the choice of using the same towel that had been hanging there in the bathroom throughout the entire reunion--
the towel used to dry the hands and possibly faces and who knows what else of all my closest relations on my Mother's side.
Or, I could think of something else.
I figured there were clean towels somewhere in the house, but where?
The pink towel looked big enough to wrap around me while I looked in the cupboards right outside the bathroom door. It was still pitch dark outside and I didn't hear a sound of anyone stirring, so I wrapped up and did a fast open and look-see in the four cupboards.
Toilet paper.
Soap.
Shampoo.
I don't remember.
But I didn't see any towels.

My next option was to get my towel off the clothesline. It was only a few steps to the back door, and then a quick grab and I could get back in with my dignity intact and dry off with my own towel. There was just one problem, well, two problems.
First, the back door.

The concrete that was poured to be the threshold is a little less than level which makes it difficult to open the door under ideal circumstances, let alone when one hand is occupied holding onto one's dignity by holding tightly to a towel. I pushed and kicked and wiggled the door--all while trying not to wake the dead.
Just as I got it open, I saw my cousin step out of the tent trailer.
There would only be one place she was headed and that was the one place I had to be in order to not be left standing in my bare essentials in the hall wrapped in a towel.
You would have been amazed at how fast I grabbed my towel and dashed back into the bathroom and slammed the door shut. If the ten yard sprint while holding a towel around you to beat your cousin to the bathroom were an Olympic Sport I would have won the
GOLD MEDAL!

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