Full Disclosure- Part 2

When little Miriam was born, I got to spend two enjoyable weeks with Shanna and family. I was in Nana heaven with a fun little two year old and a sweet little newborn to love on. It was also so fun to spend the day with Shanna and, for a week of that time, Siara too. It's the great blessing of motherhood to get to the point where your children become your friends. We discussed matters great and small and swapped recipes and helpful hints. Sometimes we were reduced to giggling like little girls when something struck us especially funny. Siara cut our hair and styled it for us and we did our nails and tried each others' makeup. Luckily for Austin, he was at work for most of that time.

Seeing Shanna with her little ones, and reassuring her that she would figure out how to handle the doubling of her motherly responsibilities, reminded me of my promise of more "posts from the trenches"...


So here is another Day in the Life of Mama Gale, word for word, from my journal:

For this episode, I was the mother of six little darlins.
The baby in this entry is played by Shayla.
9-26-94 (Mon.)
"I ran errands this morning. Let me elaborate:
Scott had a science project to get to school--something involving one of my baking sheets, rocks, dirt, water and a hair dryer and a little flour. For snow-he explained. Seth was asleep and the baby was hungry. Andy took the van because there was plywood in the back. We have  a huge dumpster in the driveway because we are putting on a new roof, and it rained last night and there is roofing debris and supplies everywhere. SO I had to get the baby down our steep driveway without slipping on gravel or tripping over shingles in the rain. I got Scott and his masterpiece to school and then came home and dressed and fed Spencer, Seth and the baby and then went to the fabric store to get lace for Shanna's dress. Then we went to Target to get diapers and a pair of shoes for Seth. Something i can get on his feet without a prybar! When we got out of the car, Spencer shut the door and Seth wanted to do it. I had already locked it and just wanted to go in the store--Seth did not--he began to whimper, then blubber, then wail at the top of his lungs. I patiently led him toward the store and said 'You can close the door next time--it was Spencer's turn.' Once he gets worked up I just have to wait it out so we trooped through the store with Seth expressing his unhappiness very loudly. I tried shoes on his feet while he was sprawled on the floor kicking and bawling.Soon after that, he decided his life could go on  and cheered up. Then he wanted to point out every item in the store and say 'Mom! Look!' and then refuse to move on until I said, 'Yes. I see."

 When we got through that and back to the car I noticed it was low on gas. I still had to pick up Andy's dry cleaning so I stopped to get gas. When I flipped the lever to open the door to the gas cap, it opened--but when I let go, it shut--I could not get it to stay open. Finally I jammed my keys under the lever and leaped toward the little door to grab it before the keys slipped out. I got the boys food and drinks at McDonald's because I realized I wouldn't have time to fix lunch before my presidency meeting. We were pulling into the street when Spencer informed me he needed to go potty. If he brings up the fact that he needs to go--it is a lost cause--he doesn't mention it until he's close to disaster. I got a diaper from under the seat and had him sit on it--we could at least save Dad's leather seats. After I got the drycleaning and we were headed home, Seth said 'Oops'. I looked back and saw his orange drink tipped over in the space behind the arm rest--so we got Dad's leather seats after all.

We came home long enough to haul the baby up the driveway, change Spencer's clothes, change Seth's diaper, change the baby and re-dress her (spit-up) and nurse her and change my clothes (spit-up) and head out for YW presidency meeting. I hauled the baby back down the driveway and loaded them all into the car. I somehow managed to get through pres. mtg. with Shayla fussing, the boys wrestling and fighting over who could sit in Shayla's seat while I was holding her etc. The meeting got over in time for me to pick up the older kids from school. They all had to squeeze in--luckily Scott decided to walk home.

I'm teaching Joy School tomorrow."

Full Disclosure

Scott, Siara and Shanna

(Look at me smiling so blissfully)

and Spencer and Seth...

After many conversations with my older children who are now parents, I realize that I have a tendency to gloss over the day in and day out challenges of being in the trenches of mothering. It could be that it is a defense mechanism to hold on to my sanity. It might be that I learned what I needed to from the tough times and I get to move forward blissfully carrying on with the sweet, happy memories and the positive outcomes. Or perhaps I want to have grandchildren so I'm smart enough to keep some things on the down low.

But my daughter did convince me that sometimes you just need to know that you are not alone in it...so this is for all of you who are presently in the trenches...from an old veteran:

A Day In the Life of Mama Gale 

(An excerpt from my journal--a real peek at "one of those days")

22 July 1992

"Swimming lessons this morning. Seth fussy today. Spencer didn't nap--by evening I was worn out. I feel so inadequate and discouraged sometimes. There are so many complaints and all my teaching, guiding and exhorting seems to fall on deaf ears--the kids fight and use "garbage" words when they think I'm not listening. 

 I try so hard--or think I do but everything I do each day is undone. It's an endless round of the same things over and over. 

Tonight the pipe under the kitchen sink came apart and water and semi-disposaled food flooded out onto the kitchen floor. A few minutes later Siara was yelling that Spencer smelled--he had diarrhea and unfortunately he was wearing training pants so it was all over him and his clothes and Siara's bed. Seth was crying. Shanna had her bag packed to run away. I told her she couldn't run away--she would get kidnapped or something. I can't let her try it to learn a lesson about how much better home is than a cold sidewalk because the world is too dangerous even a few blocks from home. I told her that losing a game was not a good reason to run away so she unpacked and decided to stay. So I guess I will too." 

So there it is--the unvarnished truth according to my journal. I think I will do this from time to time just as a reminder that "this too shall pass". The pipes get fixed, the kids grow up and it is worth it to hang in there and see it through.

"I'll Need to do the Laundry First"

Here's a favorite poem. I have it laminated and keep it displayed in my laundry room. I made sure I packed it in a safe place so I could put it up right away in the new place:

An Unfinished Woman
Here am I Lord,
The dishes barely done and night long since fallen,
The children would not go to bed
And would not go--
And now they are gone.
Gone to places of their own with children of their own
Who will not go to bed and will not go--
And I have taught them what I could and
They have learned the things they would
And now they've gone their way alone to learn the rest
Most on their own.

And I remain, not half spent
And I remain, not yet content,
So much to do, so much to learn,
My past mistakes make stepping-stones,
Not millstones great around my neck but
Stones to guide my searching feet--
And I must search; I'm incomplete.

I watch my years go tumbling by
And I must use them better, I
Have yet so much to learn and do
Before I can return to You.
The hour is late. The night comes on,
My celestial self I would become.
Ah! What wisdom thou gavest to mortal life--I
As sister, mother, daughter, wife--
In earthly roles have seen Thy face.
In my womanly life Thy heavenly place
Is taught through humble tasks and pain.
So, if royal robes I would obtain,
To wear as all Thy glories burst--
I'll need to do the laundry first."

By Jaroldeen Asplund Edwards (mother of 12)