The Bimbo in My Laundry Room

I am normally a practical person. I look for value and good workmanship in my appliances. As the mother of many, I expect a lot from my washing machine. The constant flow of dirty laundry through my laundry room requires constant vigilance to keep it under control.
But, when it came to picking out the washer and dryer for the cabin, I have to admit to being drawn in by only one thing: the color RED
It was calling to me from across the store, "Look at me, I'm reeedddd. See how beautiful and shiny and RED I am"
All common sense left my brain and I pointed and said, "I want the RED one."
Truth be told, it is GE--a supposedly reputable manufacturer of appliances--so I didn't go completely off the deep end. I figured it was a brand I could trust.

It turns out I ended up with a pretty, shiny, RED washer...that is useless.
A dumb bimbo.
Oh, she sure looks good, but should I ask her to spin out the towels I get this response:

BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM! as she rocks back and forth.

Me: "Uh, what are you doing? You're supposed to be spinning the water out of the towels."
Her: "Huh?"
Me: "SPIN! You're supposed to spin!"
Her: "I like to rock around the laundry room-- I don't really do the spin thing."
Me: "These towels are soggy and drippy. They have to be spinned so your friend here can dry them."
Her: "OK, I'll try"

BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM!

Me: "Yeah. That's not spinning, that's useless rocking back and forth."
Her: "What exactly am I supposed to do again?"
Me: (rearranging soggy towels hoping to configure them just right so the spin cycle will work)
"Come on honey, you can do it. SPIN!"

BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM!

Me: (Sigh) "Well, you are RED."