Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Mom 101

I thought it might be fun to take a few days and remember back to some moments that I would like to forget but, as they say,
"Those who do not remember the past are doomed to repeat it."

When the older three kids were little, we had lived in a trailer park. I didn't realize we were on well water and thus no fluoride. Their baby teeth were pretty weak and we ended up at the dentist for some fillings. (I'm telling you all of this so you won't think I was a neglectful mother but it won't help my case when you read the rest of the story anyway. So why do I bother?)

After the ordeal, the hygienist came out with the kids and a list of "preventative measures" I should be taking so this tragedy would not have to be relived:
-Be judicious with the juice (Juice was expensive, we didn't have it very often. Check)
-Make sure they brush their teeth morning and night (Already doing that. Check)
-Don't let them brush their own teeth without vigorous follow-up from parent (Uh-oh Scott was on his own after the other two arrived. Guilt Check)
And Finally:
-Don't give them sweets. They shouldn't have candy except on rare occasions.

Now, here was an area where I shined. Don't forget, I was the mother who convinced her son that spinach was better than candy! I felt the need to elaborate on the fact that we didn't keep candy around and it was certainly a RARE treat only at Halloween and Christmas.

And while I was waxing motherly on the topic of the evil of sugar, Siara was pulling on my arm and saying: "Mom, can I have some candy? Candy Mom. Please give me some candy."
(But imagine it in her cute little lisp: "Thum" candy and "Pleathe")
Of course she thought of it because we were talking about it. I gave her the Mom Brush-off with: "Honey, we don't have any candy."
Whereupon she plunged her hand into my purse and came up with a zip-loc bag full of
Tootsie-rolls and Smarties
I stared at it in horror as the hygienist gave me a withering look.
It was a bag of candy I had intercepted before it could be given to one of my kids at the last Primary activity. Totally forgot it was in there.
I started to sputter something lame like, "Oh, that's not ours...really I don't know where that came from..."
I gave it up. I loaded up my children with their rotten little teeth and
took the walk of shame past all the disapproving dental patrons,
out the front door and across the parking lot.
I loaded them into their car seats and we headed for home.
Eating Tootsie-rolls and Smarties all the way.

1 comment:

Shanna said...

I love this story! We all have horse teeth now, with Dad's indestructible enamel, so if only that hygienist could see us now!